Spotted: 100 of the best Gossip Girl Quotes Ever! XOXO

The theme of this episode is very clearly centred around secrecy and revelations. It's something that affects all three of the main storylines concerning Serena/Georgina, Eric/Asher and Jenny/Rufus. Lies surrounded by lies surround each of these characters and them being brought into the light all destroy them in some way to unmask their true selves. It's actually kind of fascinating how much these stories all mirror one another. Also in terms of how each of the stories has to do with the others. In terms of ripple effects, this is one of the best of the whole show as everything in this episode is entirely connected.
But, as always, minor points first:
I know I'm harping on this but Blair is just one of the girls again. Her breakdown after the revelation always has less impact in hindsight seeing how quickly she gets over it. Even in this episode, she teases Serena about her promise as if it was nothing.
"You mean like the time where you thought I was Gossip Girl." ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why would Eric and Asher very blatantly kiss in the open in front of school like that? (Very awkwardly, I might add. Does that kiss look weird to anyone else?)
"Whoever said that money doesn't buy happiness didn't know where to shop." - Blair Waldorf. Quote of the episode right there.
"I just had some time to kill." As subtle as a trainwreck on a boat, Georgina.
"WhAt aRe yOu gOoNa dO dAd??? pUt BaRs oN My wIndOwS? cHaIn mE tO tHe KiTchEn cOuNteR???" Don't tempt me, Jenny.
Alrighty, so the main plot of this episode centres around Asher and his new "relationship" with Jenny, which starts to unravel once Dan spots him kissing another boy in front of the school, outing him to Gossip Girl to get Jenny's attention. (And, again, I don't see how this didn't happen before if these two are so careless, but I digress.) He does this mainly as Asher's personality takes a sudden shift. And I do mean "sudden." Before this point, he was a kind, caring guy who liked dogs and in an instant transforms into an aggressive, abusive homophobe in the closest. I don't know if I like this decision or not. On the one hand, it is delicious irony for Jenny who refused to understand what this would do to her should she be uncovered but on the other, it comes out of nowhere. Granted, we only saw Asher for a couple of episodes but still, there was never any hint that he was easily aggravated, which would have been enough to suspect there was something wrong with him. But overall, I do admit it was a good was to create drama for them and to bring the other issues of this episode to the fore. But Asher is only a tool to be used for Jenny's development, and downfall, as she is just as shocked to discover Asher is gay...which is fucking odd. Asher takes great offence to even the implication that he might be gay but is also laughing at the fact Jenny doesn't understand his situation. M8, if you've joined Tom Cruise in Stan's closet, you can't be insulted when your beard doesn't figure it out either if you don't tell her. But he's an asshole, he has his excuse for being insufferable.
Jenny, however, continues with the charade, because Jenny has officially entered "Insufferable Bitch" mode. Getting mad at Dan for trying to step in and especially at Rufus for trying to care. If there was any sympathy one might have had for her position, it evaporated when Rufus confronts her about the party and she goes into a tantrum like a literal child - hyperventilating, high pitched shrieking, fast-talking and demanding her own way. Especially when we all know that it's her own fault that she got in such a poor position with Rufus in the first place, how can we fail to support him when he's trying his best to deal with this walking time bomb? It's to his great credit and commendation that he still accepts Jenny back at the end...after she lost everyone else and has no alternative. Because we all know that if Jenny had made any kind of progress with Asher's friend or the Bitch Brigade, she would have continued to whine and moan at her family as it took the complete loss of all her social grace and standing to realise what was actually important that she forgot in this season. Safe to say, I'm not a fan of her in this episode and I have to commend Rufus for his saintlike patience of her.
But Jenny isn't the only plot in this episode as the continuing conflict with Serena and Georgina escalates further. Though I can't prove it, one of my first thoughts when first watching was "What, did you kill someone or something?" since there isn't much else that would put Serena in such a position of absolute vulnerability and fear. That being said, the mystery brought up around her in this story arc is pretty frigging great. You know that something went horribly wrong during that tape, whatever it was, and the fear of it being unleashed is enough to make Serena do whatever Georgina wants or says without question. And we know it can't be related to the kind of High School things we've seen through the season, it had to be something much darker and much more sinister - though not as dark or sinister as Georgina is herself. This is a girl who comes over for Dinner, jabs Serena about a dead man (and friend of hers???) and outs Eric at the dinner table for no other reason than she could. And this is all before Serena realises that Dan's new friend "Sarah" is, in fact, Georgina, and she has rooted herself firmly into her life to ensure that she can't be cut out again, akin to a parasite you can't get rid of. Though that all comes out of the dark when Serena confesses to Blair with tears in her eyes at the end of the episode.
What doesn't remain in the dark, however, is Eric, who has been outed as gay by Georgina...at dinner...in front of his family. And suddenly, his stay at the Ostroff centre makes sense. Yeah, remember that? Remember how he tried to kill himself and then it was just forgotten about? Kinda weird, wasn't it? Well, now we know why. Though we don't know the details, it's obvious he was feeling extremely closeted, isolated and lonely and saw it as his only option. The primary reason for this seems to have been Lily, who was clearly shocked by the revelation, and probably wasn't offering a very welcoming environment to Eric while Serena was at Boarding School and Eric had no one else to confide in. I don't think the implication was that Lily was somehow affronted at Eric for being gay but was so shocked and disgusted at herself that she never once picked up on it. It shatters her view of herself as a mother as she failed to even know her own children, but I'm glad to see that she patched things up with Eric by the end anyhow.
What doesn't make much sense to me is Eric and Asher forming a relationship. Now, I get the two of them bonding because they were both closeted and they have no one else...but the later seasons show that Eric had Johnathon as a Boyfriend, and apparently the latter was cheating on him according to Bart IIRC. I guess one could make the argument Eric coming out publicly opened the floodgates for other closeted students but it seems like there was already a fairly healthy gay scene already. But look at the guys Eric goes after, guys like Johnathon are like him - shy, demure, sweet. Asher is a loud, obnoxious, egotistical asshole. Even if all they had was one another, I don't see Eric keeping up with him. It's not even like there was an abusive "We need each other" relationship going on. Eric knew he was toxic and dumped him rather quickly, as it doesn't seem like he ever had any genuine feelings for him. Again, I'm probably harping unnecessarily on this as it's not THAT big a deal, but the whole scenario just doesn't add up to me.
But enough of that. Time for the lists, which actually aren't affected this episode:
Everything Wrong With Serena:
• Slept with her best friend’s Boyfriend, taking his virginity, in the back room of a wedding of family friends.
• Tried to cover up said sex to said best friend.
• Blamed Nate for coming clean, rather than covering up the truth for as long as he could.
• Decided that not feeling icky about her High School Boyfriend's legal status was more important than her mother's happiness.
Why Dan Being GG Makes No Damn Sense:
• He shouldn’t be surprised Serena slept with Nate since he must know what kind of person “Old Serena” was.
• He needs GG to get the idea to go to the Masked Ball, when he should already have that motivation since he wrote the damn post allegedly.
• He managed to post Carter's photo at the same time as he was meant to be getting ready for the Debutante Ball.
• He outed his girlfriend buying a pregnancy kit when he had absolutely no reason to do that and even less incentive to publicise it.
• He didn't recognise Georgina, despite her being one of the most infamous troublemakers on the UES.
“This World” counter: 7.
Lily “Family” counter: 4.
Serena "I have to go" counter: 1.
Until next week, xoxo.

Ok, this is a really, REALLY good episode. I actually forgot how good it was until I rewatched it. That being said, though, this is the first time I'll actually bother to criticise the episode title, it just strikes me as weak for such a crucial episode. And yes, I know every episode has to be a parody of a movie title, but it feels like there could have been something else besides this. This is such a crucial episode for this season and Blair's character as a whole. I don't know what they could have gone with but their choice just seems underwhelming.
Anyway, there's also a lot of themes being juggled here, but I think the best way to describe it is that there's a bunch of stories running parallel to one another this episode. There are aspects like deceit and honesty, betrayal and loyalty, love and lust and so on all being shown through Serena, Blair, Chuck, Nate and Jenny in this episode. Though only the positive sides of those traits are shown through Serena and Dan as the rest of it focuses on the moral downfall of Blair in particular and the rest of the cast in general, as they all begin to slide into some form of darker morality by the time the episode ends.
But we'll get to that later. As always, nitpicks first:
Did Serena not see the girl with a phone in front of her? Like, she was incredibly unsubtle about it. I feel like she should have been able to spot her.
“Then have fun playing with yourself.” Ok, I really, really love this line, and I probably shouldn't. It's so childish and yet so smart at the same time, and it works on both layers of it being a jab at the game Chuck will have to play alone now that Blair wants no part and the fact he has no other sexual partner.
GG's standards for proof seem kind of...erratic. Some stuff he posts without needing further context, and some stuff apparently won't go up until more evidence is forthcoming. Or does this just waver to the convenience of the plot?
And why does Nate rat Jenny out like that? He's not stupid. He knows Blair will go after her now, so why would he put her in Blair's crosshairs like that?
And we got World said once again!
Alrighty, so we begin this episode on a scene of Serena buying a pregnancy test, which then makes its way onto Gossip Girl. Boy, GG sure has it out for Serena. Whoever it is probably hates her. I mean, she must, right? Imagine if it were someone close to Serena, like a close friend, or a family member or even a romantic partner! I mean, if someone like that did THIS to her, it would make them a complete scumfuck, wouldn't it? A complete trashbag of a human being? But thank goodness nothing like that is -
Yeah, this can't just be a sarcastic one off, it needs addressing. What the fuck, Dan? If you've been paying attention, my GG list hasn't gone up much the season thus far because...Gossip Girl is actually quite irrelevant in a show named after the website. But whenever the blasts are actually used? It only creates a giant plothole because there is no way this can be Dan, sociopath theory notwithstanding. Not only does it embarrass her in front of absolutely everyone, but it creates an needless conflict with Rufus that was completely unnecessary, and was only lucky to blow over so quickly. AND, Dan knows this is not true, or at least, he would probably ask her about it first. It publicly humiliates her for no reason whatsoever. Hell, even if one buys the sociopath argument, it doesn't even hold up in this case. There's no reason for it because it doesn't even advance his cause here. If he wants to lead into a romantic "I love you" Hallmark moment, it would be stronger without the Pregnancy scare, which Dan also realises. So why make that a scandal in the first place? There is no way in which this reveal makes any logical sense whatsoever. But I digress, quite massively as it happens.
This, of course, leads to the plot with Serena and Dan for the episode, with the latter trying to find some way to confess to Serena that he actually means what he says with the words "I love you." We see that Dan goes through great efforts to try and find the right time to say those words because he knows how important they are, at least in some contexts. The irony, of course, is that when they're casually tossed out when someone rescues your homework from the wind, it has decidedly less impact than if you wanted to try and repeat the same words again. We have seen over the course of the season just how much these two mean to one another, with Serena driving me to infuriation over it last episode, but that's only because they do feel that strongly. Yet even when Serena does hear the words in an appropriate setting, she doesn't give a proportionate response. She figures with Eric that the culprit must be the fact that their exposure to Lily's revolving door of marriages lead them to mistrust the term but I don't think that's it at all.
Serena before the series began, "Old Serena" if you will, was in a constant series of "realationships" and hookups with guys who were with her for three reasons alone; First, because she was extremely hot and sizzling army candy. Second, because she was a Van Der Woodsen and a Rhodes, so a great catch. And third, because she was easier to get into than an Art College. None of those guys likely ever offered her more than a "love you, babe," but Dan did. He offered her the full package phrase with all sincerity. Serena never believed it because she had never heard it before and never believed she really would. It was like a dream come true for her and, like most dreams, you don't really accept it even if you have it. Yet even when she does allow herself to accept Dan's words, it's because of his faith in her that she goes to get Blair before she leaves the city but we'll get to that soon.
Then we come back to the episode's beginning point, the pregnancy test and it's intended recipient, Blair. Blair is stubbornly refusing to take it out of, as Serena says, her belief that anything which doesn't fit her vision of perfection should be shunned and swept aside, which has been consistently accurate. She even seems to regard her affair(?) with Chuck as the crappy spinoff everyone would sooner forget about, yet still refuses to tell Serena there isn't even a possibility of that. I was wondering why she was so dead-set on the idea that it must be Chuck's baby, but then Chuck makes that clear to her, as Blair didn't even tell Serena that she slept with Nate after the Debutante Ball, out of fear of being judged again.
I'd like to say this was unwarranted on Blair's part, but when Serena did confront her about it on Thanksgiving, her reaction was one of concern, which Blair interpreted as shame. So I can't say that her privacy, in this case, is unwarranted, but she does eventually come round and take the test, discovering that she is not pregnant, which is the high point of Blair in Season One. She has her boyfriend back who loves her, her best friend, both parents, Chuck safely put at bay and still at the top of the social ladder. It honestly couldn't have gotten better for her at that point...but it could get worse.
Which is exactly what happens in, what I must admit is a damn good shot of Blair walking down the stairs as everyone gets the GG blast which Chuck delivered. And, unlike the GG blast in the opening, this actually makes sense. Dan would believe it, he might not hate her but he certainly wants to see her exposed as the hypocrite he believes she is and if he could do it without jeopardising his relationship with Serena, he absolutely would. So kudos on that on writers. But I digress. The reason Chuck did so is, of course, self-destructive. If he can't have her, no one can - literally, as it happens by the episode's end.
To be honest, I can't even tell what kind of mindset Chuck is when he makes this decision. He's either cold and calculating, knowing it will destroy everyone and accepting that to get his revenge or he's doing it out of an act of in-the-moment passion, not realising what his actions would do. I honestly don't know which it is, but I'm leaning towards the latter. The episode makes it clear that Chuck values his friendship with Nate and he wouldn't voluntarily endanger that if he thought he could get away with it. My feeling is that this was one of his "Chaos is a Ladder" moments where he just wanted to figure out what would happen if he outed Blair, but didn't think for a second that he could get outed as the other party involved. He wanted to humiliate and embarrass Blair but did not want any more than that. Frankly, if it had only gotten her ruined, I could see Chuck still """claiming" her at the end instead of pouting about how she was worthless to him now. But after he lost his best friend of practically his whole life? She just wasn't worth anything to him after that, nothing was worth that loss to Chuck.
Or, I should be more specific. He doesn't want anyone to escape that feeling of complete isolation by giving Blair that comfort. He wants everyone to be as hurt and miserable as he is. Frankly, the only person who seems to get out of this with any sense of relief is Nate, who discovers that his best friend and girlfriend were lying to him. It's an incredible irony from his perspective because he spent the first half of this season with tremendous guilt over what he had done and what he had felt about Serena. But, the difference was that Nate came clean to Blair and told her the truth instead of still pretending for her sake.
Blair had gotten away with this dubious affair(?), if one can call it that since they were "broken up" but still obviously in that phase where it's not ok to move on yet, yet she would never have told Nate about that. I think, more than anything, that's his problem with Blair, that she had to be outed in this way to come clean about it. He would never have forgiven Chuck if Blair told him but there was a possibility Nate could have forgiven Blair after some time if she had just been honest. But if this wouldn't have come out, what else might have happened that he doesn't know about? Nevertheless, after losing her boyfriend and friends, Blair goes to Chuck who only tells her she means as much to him as a horse now. He's lying, of course, but as I outlined above, he wants to make everyone feel as miserable as he does now. Even if he could have sex with her regularly, she would still be happier while he wouldn't, and Chuck's egotistic narcissism could never allow anyone who hurt him to be even moderately happy while he had the power to control it.
However, the one person I haven't spoken about thus far is actually quite an important person in this episode - Jenny. This is the beginning of what I can only describe as her Megabitch Story arch, and it shows. The episodes makes the relationship between Blair and Jenny crystal clear with her effective dismissal of her, sitting literally above everyone else in a social triangle on the Met steps, with the rest of the group falling in line. Furthermore, is this the first time Penelope was on screen? I don't recall her in earlier episodes and this seems to be the first time we've seen her...But I digress. This, of course, comes to a complete reversal by the episode's end where said friends all welcome jenny into their ranks after Blair has been outed for being...as bad as the rest of them apparently. I did wonder why so many people were convinced about what must have been a fairly common rumour. I refuse to believe no one sent in rumours like this before about Blair. But what seems to have confirmed it is the fact that Nate did fight Chuck publicly about her, because they had no other reason to do so.
Yet what none of them seem to know is that Jenny was the one who caused that confirmed that to Nate, because she wanted to hurt Blair. Blair has been consistently cruel to Jenny, in the most stupid ways. There is absolutely maintaining the social hierarchy but there's also not being so stupid with your underlings. If you treat them nice every once in a while, they will feel loyal towards you. Any leader must know that but Blair seems to focus only on the Cersei Lannister approach of berating anyone and everyone, seemingly unaware of how this might possibly backfire, and so it does. When Jenny has hit the final mark this episode after being told she will never be friends with Blair no matter what, she betrays her and engineers her downfall. Though I don't think even she had that kind of social ostracisation in mind, but she accepted it nonetheless. Though, as I said above, it was a colossally stupid mistake on Nate's part to just say that Jenny was the one who told him. His whole case here is that she is a manipulative bitch, but he gives her a new target to exercise her rage on? Why would he do that?! But I digress.
Blair offers a typically Blair ultimatum; join me and never be forgiven or abandon me and be destroyed as well as unforgiven. Jenny, naturally, tells her to piss off, in what was one of the most emotionally cathartic and satisfying moments of the whole season the first time I watched it. Seeing her stand up for herself finally was so good! And then everything else happened. Ugh. Nevertheless, I do find it odd that the final two scenes of Blair and Jenny this episode mirror one another. While Blair is supposed to be at her lowest point, Serena's conversation still has a sense of hope and perseverance that she will remain who she always was and won't be stopped. Jenny, by contrast, should be on top of the world but is instead so meek and out of place in her scene, as if she is even more out of place than ever, especially regarding the introduction of Elise. Though at least she has been in Elise's shows and will be smarter than Blair ever was, and won't do anything so unbelievably retarded that would engineer her social collapse in the same way...hahahahaha...ha...heh.
Oh yeah, and Rufus has a "plot" this episode as well centring around Infatuated Brunette #1 and Infatuated Brunette #2. And yes, I know, their names are Bex and Bryn, but if the writers won't give them any character traits beyond being Infatuated or Brunettes, then why should I give them the advantage of being treated like actual characters? Though I don't see why Rufus actually has an issue here, Infatuated Brunette #2 is clearly hotter than the other one, just on an objective level. But I digress. Yeah, there's some mixup about when they're going for drinks, and a joke about bad rule-keeping and - Oh my god, who the hell cares?! I don't and neither did the writers as these characters never come back in any meaningful way!
Onto the lists:
Everything Wrong With Serena:
• Slept with her best friend’s Boyfriend, taking his virginity, in the back room of a wedding of family friends.
• Tried to cover up said sex to said best friend.
• Blamed Nate for coming clean, rather than covering up the truth for as long as he could.
• Decided that not feeling icky about her High School Boyfriend's legal status was more important than her mother's happiness.
Why Dan Being GG Makes No Damn Sense:
• He shouldn’t be surprised Serena slept with Nate since he must know what kind of person “Old Serena” was.
• He needs GG to get the idea to go to the Masked Ball, when he should already have that motivation since he wrote the damn post allegedly.
• He managed to post Carter's photo at the same time as he was meant to be getting ready for the Debutante Ball.
• He outed his girlfriend buying a pregnancy kit when he had absolutely no reason to do that and even less incentive to publicise it.
“This World” Count: 7.
Lily “Family” counter: 4.
Until next week, xoxo.

I'm 31, and female. I've been "dumped", or pushed away by three of my best friends, and I can't seem to get over it. I'm hurting like crazy. I feel embarrassed and pathetic, because I feel like this isn't a problem someone my age should be having...
I was part of a circle of friends of three girls and four guys for about 15 years. We met in high school, and a lot of us came from broken homes and bad families, so we all functioned as a family to each other. We became very close, even celebrating holidays together, just the 8 of us. We stayed extremely close even after graduation, seeing each other through college, standing up in each other's weddings... 15 years of being very close to them, and acting as a family, I loved them all very much, and I thought they loved me, too...
I tended to be the person in our circle of friends that everyone went to when they were hurt or needed advice-- I was good at comforting them, calming them down, and giving them a shoulder to cry on. I was basically the "mom" or the "counselor" of the group. I saw each of these friends through their worst times. Serious illnesses, break ups, deaths in their families, mental illnesses-- anything you can think of that a person can go through, I counseled and comforted them through it.
About 5 years ago, when I was 26, I went through absolute hell. First, I became very ill-- I developed about four different chronic illnesses all at once, and wound up in the hospital. This forced me to withdraw from college. Then, my husband at the time, surprised me by telling me he wanted a divorce, and forced me to sign the papers before I really even knew what was happening. I'd suddenly lost the person I'd been with for over a decade. Then, I had two members of my family that I was close to, die very unexpectedly. Then I lost my house. Then I got even sicker-- so sick, I couldn't even get out of bed for weeks/months on end.
The only thing that kept me going through this awful time was my close circle of friends. Just knowing that I had them, and that they loved me, helped me wake up in the morning. I tried to refrain from sharing too much of what was going on with my life with them, though, because I didn't want to dump all of my problems on them. I didn't want them to feel bad, or make anyone else uncomfortable or depressed. After all, I was the one who helped them all the time, that was my role... I felt like I needed to be strong in front of them.
But one day, the girls in our group of friends came over, and told me they could tell I'd been upset recently, no matter how well I'd tried to hide it. They begged me to tell them what was wrong, and told me that I could trust them, that they loved me and I could tell them anything, and that they'd be there for me, no matter what it was. So, I told them. I told them everything that had been going on, and that I was having a hard time with it. They told me they understood, and that I'd always have them, that they'd see me through it. When they left, I felt better and comforted that they didn't judge me, or run away.
After that night though, the three girls in my circle of friends stopped answering my calls and texts. They stopped talking to me on fb. They cancelled plans with me that we'd previously made. I started to see pictures of them on fb doing things that normally they'd invite me to do with them, only I hadn't heard anything about it... It was normal for us to leave sweet messages on each other's fb pages, things like "I love you, and I'm thinking of you, xoxo!" and so, I'd leave them these messages for them on their pages, like normal... and they'd just ignore it, while responding to each other's messages, literally the same day. It was like I was suddenly invisible. It hurt so much.
So, I wrote them all letters, and asked them if I'd done something wrong, and if I had, that I was sorry. That I loved them and needed them, and I'd do anything to fix it. I asked them to please not shut me out, especially now that I was going through hell.
Two of the girls didn't answer back. They just ghosted me. One girl, the one I'd considered my best friend out of all of them for the last 15 years, wrote me back. She told me that they just didn't want me around any more, because my situation was too depressing and uncomfortable. It made them too sad to be around me, knowing what they know now, and they couldn't enjoy themselves around me, now.
I wrote back telling her how hurtful it was, especially that they decided to let me know this by just ignoring me and acting like I didn't exist, after being like a family for 15 years. I then reminded her that they came to me and told me they wanted me to tell them what was wrong! That they told me they'd always be there for me, and wouldn't run away, no matter what my situation was! I also reminded her how I've been there for her through all of her own problems, and that I've seen her through the worst times of her life... So, she answered back and just... completely tried to justify shutting me out of her life, I'm not kidding-- like, almost making stuff up! Just horrible, contrived excuses. She said things like:

• "Well... you and I just never had anything in common." (Not true, we have everything in common, and she used to say so all the time. There's several things I can list right now that we have in common. She knows this is not true.)
  
• She also said that "Well, you've always been this way-- just depressing and sad-- ever since I've known you, and I'm tired of it." (Also not true. These things didn't start happening until only a year before I told them about them. Yes, I was kind of sad and less energetic when my life started to fall apart, but I wasn't always that way. In fact, she used to get mad at me for trying to get her to think positively when she was in a bad mood-- she's actually known for being negative and depressive, herself. I was known for being very grounded, and well-adjusted, and that's why everyone came to me for advice and comfort.)
  
• She also told me that we never had "anything good in our friendship"-- also not true. I can think of a hundred things right now that we did together that were positive, and fun. Honestly, I'm not even sure what she meant by that. Like I said, it's like she's grasping at straws and trying to justify her own shitty behavior.
  
• She then tried to tell me that since I was the person who listened to all of her problems all those years, she doesn't want me around any more because I've seen her at her worst, and I know all her deepest, worst secrets. She said that she can't "pretend to be normal" if I'm around because "I know the truth about her" because she's told me everything. So basically what she meant was that because I was the person who listened to her, and was there for her when she went through her own problems, I'm getting pushed out because I know too much. She now wants to pretend that none of those problems actually exist, and she can't do that if the person she's confided in is around. She has suffered from severe depression and borderline personality disorder since I've known her, not to mention various other mental illnesses, alcohol abuse, self-harm, suicidal tendencies, family problems, and more recently, marriage trouble. These were all the things she's confided in me the last 15 years. And now I'm being punished and pushed away for listening to her, and knowing about them.
  
• She told me she doesn't like the "way I talk" and that I use "big words". Seriously?... She told me that I "talk too smart" and that the words I use are ones she doesn't always understand the definition to, so that makes me too complicated and annoying. That one just made me want to facepalm. She really is just reaching for reasons... I am known among my friends as the intellectual one, the bookworm, but come on...that was just ridiculous. I "talk too smart"? Give me a break, here...
  
• She then went on to basically tell me that she "has a new best friend" (seriously, it was like a 14 year-old girl had taken over my friend's body-- it was such an immature, middle-school thing to tell me), and that the reason she wants to be around her now, instead of me, is that this girl is kind of superficial and not very serious, so she won't be tempted to tell her her darkest, deepest secrets, and all they really do together is "have fun, gossip, and drink beer". So basically, this girl is all kinds of awesome because she is vapid and shallow, and my friend wants a friend like that because she can better pretend that her own problems don't exist. She said "It's easier to pretend that I don't have the problems that I do with her than you". She wants to hang out with people who haven't seen her at her worst, and who don't know she has such bad problems, and someone like her "new best friend" is the perfect person to do that with, because she's the type of person you "don't talk to about that stuff with."
  

I responded by telling her, again, how much this was hurting me, and that I couldn't believe that after all we'd been through together, she was throwing me away, especially in the way she was going about it. I told her that I wanted her to rethink this, because I loved her, missed her, and needed her, and that she'd been my best friend for 15 years...
She literally responded by being sarcastic and mocking me! She sent back a response that said, and yes, I'm quoting her: "Oh, WAAAHH!!! I'm SO sad, I love you SO much! Oh, I'm SOOO dramatic, and emotional! Oh, you broke my heart! Whaaahhh!" Yeah, that's what she sent me, just because I told her that I was hurt, I loved her, and needed her. That's what I got. I still can't believe she stooped that low.
Her depression and borderline personality disorder has made her do and say mean things before, but nothing that blatant and awful before. Nothing that heartless and uncalled for... She ended the conversation by saying that she shouldn't have to explain herself or the way she's treated me. She told me that the way she treated me was actually all my fault because if I hadn't gotten so sad and had so many problems, they'd still want to be around me, and also, if I hadn't "let her" complain to me so much and tell me all her problems over the years, she wouldn't need to push me away and find a friend who didn't know these things about her, and that was also my fault. She cussed me out, and even called me names. She told me that none of it was her fault, and that I was a "fuck up". She got sarcastic some more, and mocked a lot of the things I said to her. She literally told me that she hates how our entire friendship was about how much we mean to each other, and "based on caring about each other", and that if we weren't so loving all the time, and so serious, she wouldn't need to "get rid of me". She used to tell me that she needed me in her life because she needed a friend like me-- someone who told her how much she meant to them, and that they loved her. I gave her that, and she used to thank me for that. Now that's a bad thing, I guess...
So basically, I haven't spoken to those three girls in a few years, now. I speak to the guys in the group, and they were very sad and pretty angry at what the girls had done. The guys don't agree with it at all, but want to continue being close with the other three girls, so they have to hang out with me separately, now-- the girls have made it clear I'm not welcome at our holiday celebrations, birthday parties, get-togethers. The guys have told me to just come anyway, but... I don't want to go where half the people there don't want me. It would be too uncomfortable. I used to look forward to our Christmas party every single year. That's what would get me through the roughest years. We'd have so much fun, and just be together. Now, I can't go. It was such a huge part of my life, and I'm no longer welcome. One of the guys from the group said that the first Christmas party without me was just awful. He said it was weird, and nobody acted like themselves, and that the girls all broke off into a little clique and gossiped-- and a lot of the gossip was about me, and how depressing my life was, and that it was my fault that I wasn't there with them.
The thing is... I know these three girls acted so shitty. They aren't real friends. I was there for all three of them for the 15 years we were friends-- we had good times, and bad ones-- ups and downs. I saw them all through everything life could throw at a person, but when it was my turn to go through something awful, when it was my turn to need comfort and support, they just ghosted me and acted like I never existed.
And the things my ex-best friend said to me... I can't get them out of my head. I know logically that she's not a good person. I know logically that she doesn't deserve my friendship, but... why does it still hurt so badly? The treatment I got from the three of them, and the things my ex-best friend said to me, and about me, really did a number on my self-esteem. I can't seem to pick myself back up. It's like she stabbed me, and I'm still bleeding somewhere internally. I try so hard not to think about them, and about her, but something will remind me once a day, and then... then it hurts so much.
The things I've gone through the last 5 or 6 years have definitely contributed to the severe depression that I'm currently in-- but what my friends did, and the things my best friend said to me, made it so much worse. It's so hard to get them out of my head. They truly broke my heart. And it's not mending, for some reason. It's stupid, and it's awful, but I loved them so much... and I miss them. I miss the good things about them. Maybe I just miss the people I thought they were, but... I miss them. It was so hard this past month-- one of the girls I spoke about got married. I was actually supposed to be one of her bridesmaids. But she replaced me-- with the "new best friend" my ex-best friend told me about. That was like a slap in the face. She gave her my place, and I wasn't even warned she was kicking me out of the wedding. Hell, I wasn't even invited. I had to find out all from facebook. It's like I never existed to them. After 15 years, it's like I was never there.
I feel so pathetic, but why does it hurt like this? Why can't I just get over it? Over them? I'm still so hurt. I'm angry. I'm confused. When I think about it, my stomach hurts and I cry a lot. I've had dreams where they call me up and tell me they're sorry for how they treated me, and that they still love me, and need me.
And why do my ex-best friend's words hurt so much? I know I should just be able to move on now that she's shown her true colors, but... I can't help but to be broken. I loved her so much. I loved them all, but her especially. I thought I meant something to her. I saw her through so much. I was there when nobody else was there for her. I was there when the other girls in our group couldn't handle her problems and ignored her at times. I used to drive over to her place at 2 AM. when she'd call me, crying. I used to wash out her cuts and bandage her up when she'd hurt herself. Talk to her for hours about what she's going through. How in the world can I mean so little to someone I did so much for? After all that time? How could she say those things to me? I didn't expect much back, all I really wanted was to be a part of her life, and for the love I gave her to be returned.
I feel so disposable now. My sense of self-worth is shattered. I thought I'd feel better by now, but I have no self-esteem left. I feel awful about myself. I can't help but to think, well, what if it is all my fault? What if she's right? Maybe if I was more like her new best friend, I'd be worth more to them. Maybe if I didn't go through the awful things I went through, they'd still love me. Maybe if I'd have just kept my mouth shut when they asked me to tell them what was going on in my life, they wouldn't have abandoned me... Maybe it's just all my fault, and I'm not worth anything. I'm just worth less than other people. I mean nothing to the people I gave my heart and time to. If they're such terrible people, why can't I stop caring? Why does it still hurt so much? How do you stop loving people who obviously don't love you back?
I can't stop thinking about them, no matter how hard I try. I don't want to love them any more, but I don't seem to have control of the pain, no matter how much I try. It just hurts too much. My heart is just broken.

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Date: 2013-11-07
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Questions	Answers
Has anyone ever told you, you look kind of like that Ancient Alien guy, Giorgio A. Tsoukalos? Also, you have Jeff Deane Turner on Hot Package. Have you ever thought about doing an episode based around conspiracy theories? Apparently, he has a few. If you've heard any, what's the most entertaining you've heard?	Hahaha! Yeah! I LOVE it! I mean it's all part of what we're gong for. My character on the show is a guy who get's more and more vain. In the Ones on One i'm so blown out it's nuts. And the idea is for me to become more and more "Hollywood" That's what happens to people on these shows. Just like the Ancient Aliens guy. He looks GORGEOUS with his new Hollywood approach.
How does Pat O'Brien work? Like how did you get him to be on the thing and now that he's on it how do you operate him? Does he understand what's going on or does he just follow his directives, confused but unquestioning?	All of that. He's like the James Brown of Entertainment News. As soon as he starts making sounds come out of his mouth you are frozen. He is an entertainment and celeb gossip gold mine/mind. He asks questions and then he trusts me because my answers make no sense to him.
Where were you when Gary Coleman died?	WOW! GREAT QUESTION! I do not know. Kidddinnng!!! I was in Brooklyn with someone I had just started seeing. I was with her and a buddy came up hammered and said "Coleman's dead!" I said WHAAT! ( as one would/should) and we fell to our knees screaming no.
TV Carnage is brilliant! I noticed that over time, you came to rely on simple cuts rather than overdubbing and the like, which made Vol. 3 & Vol. 4 much stronger than your earlier releases. Was this a conscious decision at the time?	I try to make each one a different experience. Sometimes over-dubs are funny like having a sandwich yell at a guy using the Winnebago man's voice. .. That one was forever ago. I go into them with an Idea and sometimes the process takes me over and I'll do as the clips tell me to do. I love the experience that's why they take me so long to make.
I went to one of your shows at the Nighthawk in NYC and then you got the plague or something horrid and disappeared forever??? You gonna do anymore of those because it was loads of fun. I get you're busy now but I'm more than up for that junk.	Oh yeah we are doin more of those. In fact I had to cancel one because I broke my leg-machine. So I was around but in my apartment watching the sun go up and down like a streetwalker, for months. Where were YOU!?!??!
Wait, final episode tonight?	FINAL episode of the seasons premieres for SEASON 1 . 6 were made BUT they go into re-runs a bunch so watch em'
Could you expound a bit about truth.com?	Yeah. It was trough VICE when I was helping to set up VICE TV. I decided to do it because they (tobacco companies) did a lot of campaigns that were directed at children. I was basically doing the ads so 11 year olds didn't start puffin' on smokes. I would just go in and start blabbing to strangers til they kicked me out or we got what we needed.
What would you say to Ron Popeil if you met him at a Mexican cock fight?	"Ron can you help me get this out of my asshole?"
	I can only assume shit would get that good.
Hi there. How did you get involved with Vernon Chatman? I feel like Hot Package has similarities to the humour of Wondershowzen.	I love Vernon. We met a few times and then he worked with me on Totally For Teens. I think we have a similar gaze but Vernon is unspeakably amazing at making this sort of stuff. I've never worked with anyone more comfortably. Back and forth with ease.
So I've noticed you go for a sort of unstructured feel in Hot Package. What exactly is your inspiration for this? Do you ever feel it may be too unstructured?	Well it's a weird thing. I love creating a dreamscape with these shows and I LOVE challenging an audience. We had to pull back a but to be honest because it was a multi-tabbed acid trip for a while. I really believe people can/ do/will get it the more they watch it and that'll allow for it to be more as well as less unstructured. But if I made a straight-up parody of The Insider or Entertainment tonight it would be boring. Non?
Abso Lutely produces the best shows on television, how have they helped in getting your show off the ground? Also, why was AS ok with Hot Package but not T4T? Huge fan by the way, keep doing what you're doing, Pinky.	Thanks! The original version of the show was with someone else. Then there were issues... then I broke my leg (probably subconsciously) and was able to get with Abso once I was walking around. It has been awesome working with them. Tim and Eric knew TV CARNAGE intimately, they really dug it over the years so that was a great fit. Totally for Teens was with Vernon Chatman and Ari Fishman shot in Brooklyn.
I listened to you on Fogelnest Files today, try to get on Who Charted! You and Howard would make some beautiful comedy babies.	Thanks I will do so! Wanna be my PR person?
Hey Derrick! What was it like putting out your first TV Carnage tape? Did everyone love it right away or did it take a while to gain momentum? Did you have to force people to watch it?	I used just make them for friends. The first two I made like 20 copies of. I didn't distribute them or sell them until I's see some cock claiming he made them. It happened a few times and I decided: FUGG THIS! So I took over my own history and people buying them helped me make more.
I know it's probably like choosing which of your children you love best (although I assume you are probably barren), but which TV Carnage is your favourite and why?	Hahahaha! I am an ocean of fertility!!! I dunno. The first two comps were made with two VCR's I really was into making them that bare-bones. So I love them for that reason. I like Casual Fridays I dg Let's Work It Out! It's the first single themed comp like that.
I watched Casual Fridays again this week and will be rewatching it sober. What are your thoughts on the high brow gallery, film fest found video festivals? Think they've gone too Hollywood, guy.	Hahaha! They don't respect how insane people's choices are. On TV CARNAGE I covet that shit. They are heroes. These other boobs slapping these comps together often try to make themselves look better by making fun of these people's choices. I LOVE these peoples choices.
The Michael Damien "attack" has to be the funniest thing ever. Agreed?	It's up there. Again layers upon layers. The attackers Soundgarden t-shirt, two girls who have no idea who he is but he (the attacker) claims he's dating one of them, Miachael Damien losing his shit and them mouthing off AFER the attacker is subdued. I actually talked to the cop that arrested Mark Pena (the attacker) we talked on the phone for 30 mins, the cop had no idea why I cared so much. PS the photo copied piece of paper in CASUAL FRIDAYS that looks like a mass murder's confession, that's the arrest report for Michael Damien filled out.
Can I call you Del?	I'd LOVE if you did. Like, lose my shit.
Beckles--Mookie here. What's your favorite piece of Jerry Penacoli journalism and why?	Hahahha! Yes, Mookie I'll field your question. Look man Penacolli is a GENIUS. He doesn't live in our world. Look at his teeth while he laughs for exhibit A! To answer your question he has done a lot of insanely amazing stuff. The cute poor children asking him for a new house and then he KILLS himself laughing is still one of the best things I've EVER seen.. Oh It's on WHEN TV ATTACKS available on my website...hahaha. But true.
Derrick, can you tell us more about this ocean of fertility?	Yeah. Sure. It's a tantalizing mistress but at times can be a provocative sex-criminal . Taking but still giving while being diminutive, yet with a hint of Southwestern flavoring that will remind you of the first time you wisely dared to try Zatarain's New Orleans Style Jambalaya Mix. Mmmmhmmm! Man o' mannns!
Do you think See Me Already guy who pats the anger management therapist on the leg after he cums is the same guy as the bearded thinner Found Footage guy? It's a theory I have. I told him that at an event and he looked at me like I was a talking dish towel.	Hahaha! Wow that's a lot of good info! Yeah Nick from FFF is that guy. In every way. He looks at me like I'm a bloodstained oven mitt.
Also, my friend started those Facebook accounts for us. Till this day, I have people going "who is Empty Shell and why is she invited to my baby shower?"	Empty Shell is a great handle!
Did you want a deviled egg, Justin? (I'm obsessed with you btw)	Once. Then I did it.
As a lover of awesomely terrible media and an aspiring editor, I love your work. What is the worst movie you've ever seen? Direct-to-DVD counts. Mine is a tie between Ax 'em and Hip Hop Locos.	Ohh man! I mean it's either really obvious, sometimes so obvious that it's not fun. Like, I saw Gravity, I was laughing my ASS OFF! It was PURE TV CARNAGE. Anything with Lorenzo Lamas is a safe bet!
Loved your episode of Drunk History. How drunk were you, really?	WASTED!
What did Pat O'Brien think about you using him in TV Carnage? USING.	GASP! I was paying tribute, you brute! I'm sure he's cool with it. aka don't tell him.
Why the FUCK does Hot Package have under 200 likes on facebook, especially given Adult Swim's marketing prowess?? If you need somebody to social media it up i gotchu <3.	I know. We gotta get those numbers up . I'm learning how to be wayyy better at gabbing about stuff I've created on my own! Sometimes when other people have to do that for you and they are challenged by the show... they slowly back away. So let's fuggin do ittt! Let's spread the word!
Do you feel bad if people illegally torrent your show?	Do I feel Bad? I mean people are gonna do it. The stuff I make takes a lot of time/ energy/ sweet, sweet lovin' toward the project and serious devotion. WHETHER ITS TV CARNAGE or my stuff for Adult Swim or whatever I do. Same for anyone who takes real time to create something , like me, they rely on getting some cash to keep it going. That's they way it goes. My landlord won't except VHS tapes as payment (i wish). Give a little so you can love a lot more. Plus My DVDs area an experience even in holding one in your hand. xoxo.
How did you get involved with creating TV CARNAGE?	I just had to. It was like the movie "They Live". I wanted to know if anyone else was seeing what I was so I started putting all of those moments that i loved together.
You were closely involved with VICE from the early Montreal days and joined them in Brooklyn, but you stuck mostly with Gavin, who was eventually forced out. Anything you would have done differently in hindsight?	It was a weird time. Gavin and the crew were going through a divorce. I was (in this analogy) a dumb teen trying to steer around his parents BS. Teen decisions...
How do you come up with the wacky skits? has pat obrien ever come up with anything that made you think wow thats some weird shit.	Well being wacky is an around the clock deal. You gotta eat wacky, sleep wacky, speak wacky and stand wacky! I could go on. As for Pat, yes he had ideas.
I haven't watched adult swim since they started doing live action stuff. Can you tell 'em to knock it off?	Look. I accept your apology. That's a huge step in the right direction.
Any idea where I can see the "What I Really Want/I Want To Touch People" video in it's entirety?	Hahaha!
Lisa also points out he was on an episode of Caroline in the City called "Caroline and the Sandwich." Just an FYI.	GASPING FOR AIR!
What were your best/worst memories of living in Vancouver and/or Toronto.	Vancouver - the amount of times people used the n-word won me or around me when they had no idea I was there. To be honest. I kinda dug it but it was unusual. A lot of interesting weirdoes. Toronto - Having raging giant parties in this insane deal of a warehouse I rented their with a buddy. It was massive and severely underpriced. That was Parkdale a few years ago. Nowww it's cologne and international versions of Guy Fieri. Thanks condos!!!
Uh oh, you know what that music means!	I sure dooo!
Your hair reminds me of the likes of Eric Andre's hair. Which is weird. Anyway, what are the chances of making more weirder commercials. They're fucking genius and awesome, like the show!	Eric and I were separated at birth. Thank you for liking the show! Show commercials? If so yes more more more!

Last updated: 2013-11-11 20:28 UTC
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Date: 2012-08-13
Link to submission (Has self-text)
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Questions	Answers
What do you think about carrimon shippers?	I think they're getting the name wrong and it should be Neribedtime. :) xxx.
If you could have dinner with 5 people, dead or alive, who would they be? also, love your music and voice!	Shakespeare.
	Gerard Way.
	Alex Day.
	Roald Dahl
1) Can we expect any new songs coming out soon?	Maybe...
2) Do you think you'll go to LeakyCon in London next year?	Maybe.......
3) How did you come up with your YouTube username?	It's a line from a show I was in! :) "20:32. It's way past your bedtime!" XXX.
What exactly is it that your brother does with pop rocks?	He put loads in his hand, licked them off his palm and because he got one wet, it popped in his hand and landed in his eye. XXX.
If someone offered you a round trip ticket to anywhere in the world for a week-long vacation, where would you pick and why? What would you do there? Who would you bring?	Right now I'm in love with the idea of going to Peru to do the Inca Trail so I think I'd pick that! :) And I'd bring my friends Alex, Danny, Brad and Liam!
By the way: love your music/videos, you are an inspiration. :)	Fanks! XXX.
What's the story behind the 'Rawry' character?	I found an egg in my garden once. It was purple and pretty and I thought it was empty. I took it indoors and accidentally left it next to my lamp. Luckily the lamp gave it enough warmth to hatch and suddenly, there he was! This little purple dragon. Although I always tease him because his hand look like penguin flippers making him a PenDragon (like King Arthur). :) He's a great friend to have around. :) XXX
Hey Carrie! :) First off I wanted to say I love your videos! I can't really think of a good question because you said you'd go to Vidcon so I guess my question is...what do the xxx mean? I've seen them from other people besides you and sometimes it's just a single x. Is it a British thing? Sorry if this seems stupid, haha.	Like Mr Nerimon said, the X's are kisses and I like putting three after everything. :) XXX.
Phsyically, how strong are you? Any stories about it?	I've broken windows and doors before without meaning to...
	Xxx.
What exactly was your involvement in the Olympics?	I sing the song for the Olympic Mascots, Wenlock and Mandeville. xxx.
What is the job you mentioned in the tshirts and flip flops video?	I'm working on a movie musical right now. Lots of songwriting and script work! :) xxx.
How did you meet Alex? In his birthday song you mentioned something about twitter? Also, is Sam Pepper really a dick? I've heard so much about him being a nasty person but I can't judge, I don't know him :L My t-shirt is ordered :)	There's another answer here explaining how I met Alex.
	Sam Pepper is one of the nicest people I've met. He's really lovely.
	That's so cool! :D XXX.
How is your writing going at the moment? You were writing a children's book right?	It's going great! I've written and finished quite a few kids books now! :) XXX.
Why do you think YouTubers keep things so close to their chest? It seems everyone is so secretive about their personal lives just because they're in the public eye. Maybe that's just me but I find it strange.	Really? I think it seems that way because YouTubers share SO much with on the internet that it just seems normal to share that much. So when they do decide to keep on thing secret, everyone suddenly feels like we owe them that information because they already know everything else. The only thing I'm not willing to share with the internet is my relationship/love life. Anything else I'm more than happy to answer questions on but because everyone wants to know about that one specific thing, people think I'm keeping secrets when really, I'm entitled to keep that information to myself. :) XXX.
Okay, that was a good answer :P. Maybe it's just my personal opinion then :) But I do feel sorry for Alex a bit. Just being honest..	Alex?! Are you kidding? He does most of the teasing! He's the biggest troll of them all. XXX.
I'm getting to grips with filming, need to learn how to use the software. Anyway, what would your number one tip be for Vlogging? I figured that's the best way to practice.	I mean, I'm no expert but I think you've gotta know exactly what you want to say and how you're gonna say it, don't leave long pauses, keep the pace of it flowing which you can do in editing and just be as natural as you can be! :) XXX.
Just going to copy and past my post from the last thread. Hi Carrie, You've said on twitter that you've been in West End productions before. Do you mind if I ask which ones? Also, I'll go for the classic theatre question: what's your dream role? :)	Les Mis, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Mary Poppins. My dream role is Eponine in Les mis. I played young Eponine when I was in it before and I'd love to go full circle and play older Eponine. I'd also love to play Elphaba in Wicked! XXX.
You said that without Alex, you wouldn't be making videos. How is that?	I my Life BA (Before Alex :P) I was making one video a month and it was just a cover of a song I liked. He suggested I make videos actually talking because he thought I'd have interesting things to say. I put it off for ages because I was a little unsure about talking to a camera. I gave it a go and over 70 videos later, here I am! haha XXX.
What is your favourite Disney ride in florida ? x.	Haunted Mansion! Love love love it! XXX.
The slomozovo 'connection' gif on tumblr... what is that from? is it a video? its really funny :) xx.	It's from a video Bing did! You should look it up! :) XXX.
Does it surprise you that people are so interested in hearing what you have to say? Oh, and don't let haters get you down, all their going to do is hate. I for one think your amazing, and I'm currently working on a cover for Tell Me. (Though, I doubt I'll ever post it online...) Pinky Promise	Yeah it's bizarre! I talk rubbish a lot of the time and then people quote it like it's the best thing they've ever heard and that's mad! haha XXX.
If your life was a film (any film you have seen), which film would it be?	Beauty and the Beast :P xxx.
What A-Levels did you do in school?	I didn't do my A-Levels. I left at 16 because I was offered the job of songwriting for a musical movie. XXX.
What's your inspiration for the your songs?	Anything and everything that happens to me. I think almost all of my songs are based on things I've felt when I've been in certain situations. xxx.
Why do think you get one with boys more so then girsl?	I think because I grew up with a brother and I've always been a bit of a tomboy at heart! XXX.
Would you consider yourself a cat or dog person??	Cat person, definitely! xxx.
Will you be at SitC on the Saturday? :)	Unfortunately not! I'll be on a plane headed to Florida on Saturday! XXX.
Will Miss Piggy be doing any duets with Kermit in the near future? Your voices sound great together :)	Maybe one day! :D xxx.
Is your boyfriend jealous that your spending so much time with Alex? ;D.	Not at all. :) xxx.
Is your dog a Samoyed?	She is! :) XXX.
Hi! Are you going out with Alex, if not why!? you two would be great together. xP. but really, what was it like when Alex phoned you up, you didn't really know him that well then (i think..) and asked you to be naked on a horse, what made you say yes? thanks.	Hello. Well Alex sent me an email asking me if I could ride a horse. When I said yes he then said "Naked?" and I said no. Then he had no other options so I said as long as I wasn't actually naked, I'd do it. I still maintain that the day we filmed Lady G was the worst day of my life though...for a lot of reasons, including falling face first off the horse! haha XXX.
How exactly did that work? The naked-but-not-really thing. What were you wearing?	I was wearing a skin coloured dance leotard and skin colour tights! :) XXX.
Who are your favorite Harry Potter characters?	I love Luna and Professor Mcgonnagal! XXX.
Who is your favorite super hero?	I like a bit of Captain America. xxx.
If you could pick one dead musician and one live musician to perform with , who would you pick?	Michael Jackson and Gerard Way! xxx.
What's your opinion of Tom Milsom?	Only met him the once and only briefly but he seemed lovely. XXX.
How did you and alex day become friends?	I started watching his videos around the time Forever Yours came out, I tweeted him on christmas day congratulating him getting to number 4 and he tweeted back. Then he DM'ed me saying he'd heard my voice, loved it and wanted to do a song with me and gave me his email address. We got talking and then met up around the end of January this year and here we are! :) XXX.
Who is the most famous person in you're phone contacts?	Probably Ramin Karimloo! XXX.
Whats the most expensive things you've bought? xxxx.	Probably my MacBook Pro. XXX.
What's been your favorite part about being involved the YouTube community?	I love that everyone helps each other out. There's no rivalry that I've come across. Everyone just wants each other to do better and improve and I think that's really cool. XXX.
Do you have any fun nicknames that people have given you? :)	Me and my boyfriend have a game where we think up a different nickname every time we talk to each other. So far I've been called squish, squidgem, honey pie, honey pot, honey bunch, honey bun...man there's so many! I also have a a few friends that call me Care Bear, my dad calls me Squig and my brother called me Smelly. :) XXX.
What is it like having Tom as a brother? Has he changed since his success with McFly?	He's not changed in the slightest since before Mcfly so there's no way to answer that question. He's just my big brother! :) xxx.
Are you a Starkid fan? If not you should check them out, I bet you'd love their Potter parody musicals xxx.	Already a huge fan! XXX.
Could you do a day in the life of carrie video?	I already have! :) XXX.
How did Alex propose the 'Lady Godiva' video? I assume it was better than "Wanna come be naked on a horse?"	No that's about right. "Can you ride a horse?" Yes I can Alex. "Can you ride a horse...naked?" -_- XXX.
Was there an article about you in an issue of Sugar or Bliss (could be a different magazine)? It was about you being Tom's younger sister.	Yeah there was. XXX.
Do you get annoyed at any of the shippings between you and someone else?	Not really. It's when the start pushing too hard that I start feeling uncomfortable! xxx.
What is your favourite movie ever that ISN'T a Disney movie? :) Also, are you okay with fans hugging you? I just want to cuddle you when I watch your videos! :D.	I love Scott Pilgrim vs the World! And I LOVE hugs! :D XXX.
When were you in Mary Poppins? :-)	2003-2004 XXX.
Hey, where did you get this dress?	Honestly? i cannot remember for the life of me! XXX.
What did Tom think of the "Taking over Tom's house" video?	He rolled his eyes at me. that's about all I got! haha XXX.
Your sense of style is just so beautiful! Where did you buy your red polka dress? x.	Thank you! It's from Vivien of Holloway! xxx.
Do you like pokemon and if you do which one is your fave?x.	I never really played it but I was always partial to Psyduck! XXX.
What reallly happened on January 28th?! x.	A few people are really becoming obsessed with that date...xxx.
If you were an Olympic athlete, which sport would you be competing in?	Archery! xxx.
What was your worst subject at schooool? :)	Maths. I was shockingly AWFUL! xxx.
Favourite episode of Dr Who? which Dr is your favee? I love season 4 :D x.	Don't Blink! xxx.
What's your favourite song at the moment?	Payphone and Marry you! xxx.
With all the rumors about you dating, there has to be an absolutely hilarious scenario someone's come up with that's TOTALLY off, does one come to mind?? :P.	YES oh man there's been some brilliant ones. A few people thought I was dating Charlie and we were using Alex in videos as a cover up. Someone once thought CH-in Cherimon stood for Carrie Hope mixed with Nerimon and that it had nothing to do with Charlie (When clearly the love between them is real and can never be broken). Lots of people think I'm dating Jack Howard right now. Sam Pepper has even bee thrown into the mix. I mean...I just need to do a video with a guy and the rumours start! It's a lot of fun not telling people and seeing what conclusions they draw themselves! XXX.
Hi Carrie! It's so great you're doing this, thank you sooo much, you are really awesome! I wanted to ask what was it that got you to put an address for your fans to send letters to, and what is the most remarkable one you've read so far? Thanks again, you are really brilliant! Maayan xxx	Carrie Hope Fletcher ChannelFlip 41 Great Pulteney Street London W1f 9NZ.
	I was written a fairytale (about 10 pages long!) about me that they'd bound together with ribbons. It was really something! XXX.
I have the address (also sent you a letter, supposed to get to you in about a week) but I asked what was it that got you to give it out, why get letters from you fans? Why now? Did someone ask about it and you got excited? Did you tink about it alone? What was it that actually got you to do this? :D.	Oh gosh sorry! Totally misread the question! A lot of people asked me about it actually! I was quite surprised anyone wanted to send me a letter so I asked about it on my twitter and it turned out more people wanted to contact me that way than I thought! So i thought why not?! XXX.
Are you excited about new MCR album?	Unbelievably so! xxx.
Hi Carrie! What's the best piece of advice you've ever been given? Any advice for someone who is considering starting a vlog? :)	I've always had the phrase "Don't Die Wondering" in the back of my mind ever since I heard it and I've been living by that for a while. Erm...I'm not really an expert but I'd say make sure you know what you want to talk about before you start and how you're gonna say it. That always makes the process easier! :) XXX.
I find it absolutely amazing that you're replying to peoples letters personally! It's really refreshing to see someone who is in the public eye still having the time to have a close relationship with their fans, as well as writing songs and making videos and everything else! How do you stay so productive?	Thanks a lot! I think it's because I enjoy everything I do. Nothing feels like a chore so I'm constantly wanting to do things! xxx.
What do you think of people say that you're famous because your brother is famous?	I have never thought of myself as famous. Even if I was on billboards worldwide, I'd still deny that term. So thinking I'm famous for any reason let alone my brother is rubbish. However, I don't think anyone has ever become famous through someone else's talent. It helps get the recognised but it's their own actions that maintain that level of attention and then heighten it. XXX.
Is it strange knowing that people own a singing one eyed teddy with your voice inside it?	Extremely! XXX.
Have you ever been to York? :D xxx.	I have! I went there on a school trip once! XXX.
Why are you so awesome? What software and what camera do you use? And 'how you doing' as joey says... Yeah. :)	Thanks! I use Final Cut Pro X and a Sony Handycam and I'm fine tah! :D xxx.
What's you favourite CCBB song? Or favorite one to perform? I saw you in it when I was 6!! xxx.	I used to really enjoy Toot Sweets and POSH. That's so cool! :D xxx.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?	Married, with a house of my own, a book published, a few singles out and in a West End show! xxx
I could definitely see you playing the role of Glinda the good witch in Wicked :)	Oh no I'd much prefer Elphie! XXX.
What is your power animal?	I'm gonna say Penguin. xxx.
If you could be in any broadway musical which one would you choose?	Les Mis! xxx.
Will you ever do an album?	Yes definitely! xxx.
I love your videos (and hair, Merida Song :P) What's the favourite video you've made? :)	I like the videos I do with other people because I feel like I come across better when I'm spontaneously chatting. Especially Alex because we banter and make each other laugh. XXX.
How does it make you feel when people make quick assumptions of who your boyfriend is?	People are always going to want to know but it's information I don't want to talk about so no matter how hard they push...I'm not going to tell them. :) XXX.
Hey Carrie, do you have any plans to go solo like Alex Day?	Maybe. I'm not sure. I'm concentrating on my acting more right now. Got two meetings this week with agents! XXX.
Have you got any letters from abroad, for example Czech Republic?	I have but none from the Czech Republic so far! Haven't checked my PO Box in a week though! XXX.
Have you ever thought about making a music video for one of your original songs?xxx.	I already have! Running Through Rivers! :) xxx.
What's your favorite disney 's princess?	I love Rapunzel, Belle and Pocahontas! XXX.
How often do you look for people who have done covers of your songs? Because I've done one of "Running Through Rivers" :)	Send me the link! I'd love to see it! xxx.
Knowing who he is? if its alex then the internet already knows who he is...	No one has ever said it IS Alex. XXX.
Where you writing songs for McFly when you were writing with Tom or was it for another artist?	We were writing for a musical. :) xxx.
How does it feel to be verified? :D xx	Bizarre but pretty awesome! xxx.
Have you ever been to Portsmouth, If so did you like it? :)	I have and yes I do! :) xxx.
When you wrote this: "So, if like Edd says...Charlie is Rory, Bryarly is Amy, Alex is the Doctor and I'm River Song...we all know what that would mean don't we?.." were you talking about the fact that that would mean Charlie and Bryarly were your parents... or that Alex would be your boyfriend...? ;D.	The first. I tweeted that after. :) xxx.
It's just a kiss at the end of things. Like how Gossip girl says 'xoxo' but without the o's.	Oh hello you! :P XXX.
Will you come to the US for like the YouTube events and stuff like Vidcon or even the (specifically NY!)	Yes definitely! Next year I will definitely be going to vidcon! xxx.
Where did you get the dress that you are wearing in the photoshoot with alex. It is absolutley gorgeous! I want it sooo bad!	It was from Debenhams but from about 3 years ago! xxx.
I don't thing I'd really care. I'd like to think that if I had a Youtube audience I'd try to be open with them rather than awkwardly avoiding questions. People are people. They're going to judge you and your life no matter what you say or do.	To be honest, I don't have a huge problem with telling people who I'm dating but me and my boyfriend have spoken about it and he's not keen on the idea of the whole of the internet knowing who he is. I love him far more than I'd love to tell everyone who he is so I hope everyone can respect that. XXX.

Last updated: 2012-08-18 07:10 UTC
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